When I think about the challenges of learning a language, I rarely think about the difficulty of language itself, but about the mindset of the learner. And that, the willingness to make mistakes, the not taking oneself too seriously, the exploration, the never-ending journey…
I am glad to introduce you to Kerry Campion de Santiago, English language coach, who talks about the key to successful language learning. Have you ever wondered why some students give up or get stuck, and others thrive in the target language?
Keep reading!
“You admire the man who pushes his way to the top, while we admire the man who abandons his ego.”
– Heinrich Harrer, Seven Years in Tibet.
While thinking about a hook for this article I thought about comparing language learning to climbing a mountain – original, right?
Apart from being a horrible cliché it’s incredibly inaccurate and even harmful. Language learning (and most other things in life) is nothing like climbing a mountain. Because climbing a mountain is a relatively linear process with a clear end goal: to reach the peak, that tangible completion of your journey. Everything leads up to it: all the training and toil then at the end you can plant your flag into the earth – done!
The idea of climbing a mountain is also a perfect metaphor for how our ego dominates so much of what we do.
We always want to “beat” something – sometimes it’s a literal mountain, sometimes it’s something more intangible like “the person you were yesterday.” Ego pushes us to dream and accomplish our goals, but we forget that there are many things in life that require the suppression of our egos.
One of those things is language learning.
Learning a language is much more like being shot into space than climbing a mountain.
It’s vast and infinite with no clear beginning and end (at least to my layman’s knowledge of the grand abyss). There’s no clear summit to reach and the ground you cover is tiny compared to what’s left to discover.
And that can be a little daunting because we like having tangible goals and crossing things off our to-do list.
Goals or Routine?
We like to think that learning a language has a linear, step-by-step process.
First we go through A1, A2, B1, B2… and so on until we say “that’s enough for me.”
In the beginning it’s easy to follow this step-by-step process because we have obvious things to learn. However, we reach a point where our goals become more vague and intangible.
- A2: memorize the past simple conjugations
- C1: talk about the current political situation that’s been caused by Brexit (I’m from Northern Ireland so you better believe I need to know how to talk about that subject…)
It’s a bit harder to map out the action steps for the latter.
One of the reasons that I believe people get stuck in that limbo known as “the intermediate plateau” is because it’s around this level that goals start becoming more intangible.
People don’t know how to continue to improve and develop in the language if they have to do something more complex than memorize verbs or carry out certain, predictable tasks.
One way to overcome this is to start thinking in terms of routines instead of goals. If you make a language routine and respect it it’ll be almost impossible to stay stuck. However, because we’re so obsessed with hitting goals (because it stokes our ego) it can be hard to make the mindset shift.
Think about what you can do every day, week and month to bring a little of the language to your life. An everyday task could be listening to a podcast, a weekly task can be having class with a teacher and a monthly task could be reading a chapter of a book. The most important thing is that it’s manageable and enjoyable for you.
When we start focusing on routines instead of hitting goals we start to appreciate that this process needs to be a part of our lives, a part of who we are.
Not only this, but one of the reasons we can end up being frustrated is because the attainment of goals isn’t fixed. You may have finally grasped the use of the subjunctive only to completely mess it up a few weeks later.
I have a C1 in Spanish and I use it every single day – but I can still easily forget a simple conjugation – and gender? Pues ni te cuento…
If I was only focused on attaining goals I might feel incredibly frustrated that I could forget a conjugation even though my level dictates that I shouldn’t struggle with that. However, I recognize that nothing is fixed when it comes to learning a language: our level and abilities fluctuate for a whole host of reasons.
And that’s okay – because we already parked our ego at the beginning of this journey.
You’re Gonna Sound Dumb
Why do most people give up learning a language?
In my experience, it’s not because their lazy and can’t be bothered anymore, rather they just can’t bear to sound “dumb” anymore.
And that’s perfectly understandable. Imagine the business executive who’s used to leading teams, holding meetings and is the go-to for a whole array of important matters. Then suddenly that person lacks the ability to even ask for a fork in a restaurant.
That’s a pretty big dip…
It can be excruciating to go back to an almost childlike state of helplessness, and most people can’t hack it.
So, what separates those who make the cut and those who don’t?
Hello, Ego my old friend…I’ve come to talk to you again…
The best students I’ve taught have all had a few things in common:
- A childlike bravery to try new things without fear of failing
- The confidence to laugh at themselves
- The ability to see mistakes as learning opportunities and not some humiliating failure
Those qualities are harder to have when we let our big fat egos get in our way and we want to sound as smart, witty and intelligent as we do in our mother tongues.
Accepting and Submitting to the Process
We will never be comfortable in another language until we learn to submit to the process of learning and discovering it. And I use the word submit here deliberately because it’s not about domination like our mountain climbing metaphor would have us believe.
Remember that it’s like being shot into space: infinite and never-ending. There is no final destination, no flag-planting scene – just constant discovery.
And until you’re comfortable with that you’re setting yourself up for failure.
What you learn today isn’t guaranteed tomorrow so you need to be constantly learning, relearning and reinforcing what you’ve picked up on your journey. This fact will become easier to swallow when you stop thinking of the language as something to be ticked off a to-do list – it needs to become a part of you.
So I hope you can accept that there will be a you who isn’t as eloquent as who you are in your native language. But it also means that there’ll be a you who is able to communicate in ways that your “mother-tongue-you” can’t. There’ll be a part of you who has learnt to see the world in another light and who’s able to connect with a few more million people.
I’d say that’s a fair trade, wouldn’t you?
Guest Author (kerrycampion.com)
Kerry Campion de Santiago is an English language coach who specializes in helping online entrepreneurs write better content and copy while improving their English. Born in Ireland she now resides in Valladolid, Spain where she can usually be found drinking a café con leche and reading. Visit her here: kerrycampion.com
